What Awaits You As A Single Mother

It’s not easy being a single mom. However, there have been single mothers since time immemorial. These wonderful women are raising and educating their children on their own or with little help.

There are millions of single mothers who have raised happy loving children and become happy and loving adults.

Being a single mother

Motherhood is a beautiful part of being a woman. At the same time, it can also be complex. If you can count on your partner, it can be more bearable, but unfortunately this is not always the case.

A toxic relationship is not the best example for children. There are many women who have decided to go ahead with their pregnancy despite the relationship with the baby’s father being broken.

There are also women who have been abandoned by irresponsible men. While being a single mom might not have been in their original plans and might have scared them quite a bit, many women take on the challenge with love and courage.

Another thing that is becoming more and more popular is that women are resorting to artificial insemination to become mothers alone. They are disappointed in their relationships or they haven’t found the right person yet, while their biological clock is ticking. Whatever the situation, the decision to become a single mother comes with its challenges and rewards.

The Challenges of a Single Mother

If you have decided to raise your children alone, then you are a single mother. The absence of a father should definitely not be a stigma for your children. Yes, there will be problems, but they can all be solved. You are perfectly capable of raising healthy, loving and happy children.

Sure, it’s harder than doing everything together with a partner, but it’s not impossible. The basic recommendations for a single mother are:

Organize your support network

You are probably not all alone. Think carefully and work out who the people are who could help you during your pregnancy, childbirth and childcare. Your parents, siblings, cousins, and friends can be your support network.

If your partner has ignored his responsibilities, try to avoid feeling desperate. There will be many people around you who will be overjoyed that you are becoming a mother and they will be there to support you with whatever they can.

Some will be able to support you with complex tasks, others with more simple things, but any bit of support will make the whole ‘mother’ role seem much simpler.

Organize your work, time and budget

All costs of raising a child will flow out of your account. So you will have to improvise. It is entirely possible that you are juggling your job and raising your children as a single mother.

You have to make sure that your work is well combined with the responsibility you have for your children. You should have the time to take them to daycare or school and get them back, help them with their homework, take them to the doctor, and so on.

The budget you have should also take into account things such as:

• medical care
• food
• clothing
• Education
• Recreation in nature and fun days out

Also, you need to organize your schedule without overwhelming yourself. You have to make sure you have enough time for your responsibilities but also have some fun. In addition, you need a lot of patience for when things don’t go the way you hoped. What you didn’t do today, you can always do tomorrow.

Prepare yourself for ‘the big question’ if you are a single mother

Don’t feel uncomfortable if someone asks you about your child’s father. There is no need for this question to affect you, or worse, your child.

If you’ve made the decision to go down the artificial insemination route, you should be able to talk about it naturally, the same way you should when you tell your kids where they’re from.

If your partner has abandoned you or if he has passed away, you should be able to talk about it without feeling overwhelmed. It will take time, but you will reach a point where you can talk about it without pain or anger. So remember that there are often times when you need to talk about the father of your children, including with your children themselves.

Avoid slandering or blaming

If you had an unhappy relationship with your child’s father, avoid feeling frustrated, angry, or holding a grudge. Of course, avoid making your children feel that they are to blame for this situation. They are not responsible for what happened and are not the reason why your relationship failed.

Your children have a right to know where they come from and you have a responsibility to give them the most accurate and neutral information possible. Don’t give your child negative impressions of his or her father.

While you may sometimes prefer not to think about it, the father is 50% responsible for your child’s life. So let your children know truthfully where they come from and let them make their own decisions. This is especially important if your child was conceived by artificial insemination. Sooner or later they will ask where their father is.

learn to forgive

It’s easy to say, but it’s certainly not easy to forgive an absent father. It is a process that takes time. You may say you’ve forgiven him right away, but it’ll be a long time before you actually did.

If your partner has abandoned you, you should not only forgive him, but yourself as well. You can feel responsible for what happened. You decided to have a child with that person. But it was also he who gave you this wonderful opportunity to become a mother. So forgive each other.

Just as you must learn to forgive, you must also help your child learn how to forgive you and the father. Forgiveness is a great expression of love, an expression that brings you closer to your child, which is the most important.

Seek professional help

A super mom is not someone who can do everything. A super mom is a mom who also knows when to ask for help. If you need psychological help for yourself or for your children, don’t hesitate to seek it.

While there are many reasons why people often try to hide their gloomy feelings, it is not good for you or your children. Family therapy can help all of you understand and resolve your emotional challenges.

If you don’t have the money to pay for such a service, look around for local support groups, social media groups, or family therapists who can recommend social centers.

Finally

While you can never replace a father, you must give the best of yourself as a mother. To raise a child as a single mother, you have to give twice as much love, patience, understanding and dedication. It’s hard, but you can do it! Your kids will thank you for it.